Divorce rates in the church

Excerpted from “Church Divorce Rate Way Lower Than Anyone Thought,” Charisma News. June 23, 2014 — It's long been believed that half of America's marriages end in divorce and the problem is just as bad in the Church as the rest of the country. But when Harvard-trained researcher Shaunti Feldhahn tried to find the actual research to prove those points, she couldn't. It started her on an eight-year odyssey to find the actual facts.

The Atlanta-based researcher and author realized the widespread belief that marriage failure is as bad in the Church as the rest of the world demoralizes Christians and can even cause them to question their faith. In her book, The Good News About Marriage, Feldhahn lays out what she found during her eight years of investigating the complicated, complex divorce statistics. First, the divorce rate is way below 50 percent and much lower for those who attend church. Feldhahn estimates the overall divorce rate for the country is around 31 percent. The studies of people who regularly go to church all show a much lower divorce rate for them.

Feldhahn hopes these facts she's uncovered become widespread. "Pastors need to know this," she said. "People need to be able to look around the average congregation and say, 'You know what, most of these people will have strong and happy marriages for a lifetime. Doing what God says matters. This is a big deal to know."

So where do things go from here? For one, pastors and counselors can now say with assurance, marriage makes sense and is likely to last a lifetime. For religious believers, if they'll be attentive to practice their faith with their spouse, they can almost double their odds of avoiding divorce.

Commentary

CMDA President Richard E. Johnson, MD: “As I think about the issue of divorce, I would be hesitant to simply say that ‘being a Christian’ will divorce-proof or significantly reduce the risk of divorce. It is possible to generate statistics to prove any position. The reality is that many dysfunctional people attend church and call themselves ‘Christian.’ I know some, and you know some. Indeed I have had my own dysfunctional symptoms pointed out to me! Being a Christian redeems our soul. It does not per se (although it should) make me a better physician or dentist, a more diligent student, a fairer person or more honest. It does not automatically make me a kind and good spouse. We must address the underlying issues that have made us who we are and work on allowing God to be the Lord of every aspect of who we are.

“In order to understand any survey, we need to know the definition of the denominator. If, for instance, we define the word ‘Christian’ as someone who would not divorce because they are showing the fruits of the spirit and are hence a ‘real Christian,’ then our sample might yield a low divorce rate. If, on the other hand, we say our ‘Christian’ sample is anyone who calls himself or herself a Christian, then our divorce rate will be higher....probably similar to the general population.

“CMDA’s vision statement speaks of ‘transformed doctors.’ We should be encouraging ourselves as well as others to engage in the work of understanding ourselves and our spouse, understanding where our expectations come from and how they impact our marriage, practicing repentance and forgiveness and having a pure, exciting and exclusive view of sex. These are issues that need to be preached from the pulpit, and we need to address then with our patients and in the public square. When we do this, I believe we will truly see a change in the divorce statistics.”

Resources

CMDA’s Marriage Enrichment Ministry
Restoring Health to Medical Marriages